tales of the abyss: stupid spoiled ginger who does not understand what a socially appropriate midriff blows shit up and has an inferiority complex goes on hunt to prove he is not a shotgun baby also people fight over rocks
Majora’s Mask: Link looks for the annoying fairy but gets mugged and then has to go on this stupid journey to save the stupid world of Termina. By the way, you only have three days to do it before the fucking moon falls down and destroys your sorry ass.
This green faggot wakes up on a beach beside some ginger with hideous hair and bad fashion sense and she hauls him back home where he wakes up again in her bed. She and her uncle took his shield and left his sword on the beach and also that ginger girl can talk to animals and he has to go around and get these fucking instruments to wake up some giant egg on a mountain and a fucking whale pops out???
BUT IT WAS ALL A DREAM
You wake up on the morning of your tenth birthday, get a phone from your kitchen-dwelling mother, then get sent out into a world filled with dangerous, element-controlling monsters and sadists who pit them against each other. You inadvertently stalk the product of a threesome between Vidal Sassoon, Davey Havok, and a bottle of red hair dye. Then you learn that this terrorist organization that was supposedly disbanded three years ago by a ten year old kid (seriously, where were the fucking police?) has returned, and you’re the only one who can kick them to the curb (again, police?). So you do it, then go on to fight four high-and-mighty asswipes who have teams full of haxed creatures.
And then you get to meet the punk-ass who supposedly crushed the terrorist organization that you just disbanded permanently. And whoop him as payback for all the bats, rats, and living fart clouds you had to slaughter. And then go back to your kitchen-dwelling mother’s house. THE END.
Oh, and you get to teach the punk you were stalking about *~THE POWER OF FRIENDSHIP~*
(Source: mylittlefangirl)
