I’ve decided that I’m going to memorize the names of different breeds of chickens and train myself to use them in place of swear words.
Then, when I drop something or otherwise make an idiot of myself in public, I’ll just blurt one of them out. When someone around me makes a remark on it, I’ll act shocked and ashamed.
And then I’ll say, “Oh, I’m so sorry! Please forgive my fowl language!”